#but that doesn't mean you should have zero empathy

[barnbridges]

*cough* the funny thing about logging on reddit sometimes is that you will get people who think it's absolutely autism that a man shits on someone's cake and then the same people on a vent post of an absolutely terrible autism parent would be like, supporting eugenics.

[reimenaashelyee]

Hello! I would like to know why you support Palestine over Israel especially since Israel gives equal rights and freedom to LGBTQA++ people and women.

I don't know anon, my home country Malaysia doesn't legally support LGBTQA+ people and discriminates against women too... The logic / gotcha you're trying to imply from your question falls apart for anyone who lives in a socially conservative country (which is the majority of the world btw). Do you also agree the lives and rights of myself, other queer Malaysians and other Malaysians have less value objectively and in a conflict, should be killed indiscriminately because our country is LGBTQA+ intolerant? Yes or no? Get off anon and tell me to my face right now. The lives and safety of civilian people and children are unconditional. Just because a country has a better position on some social rights doesn't mean it is absolved or excused from performing war crimes and other human right violations. See: the US, UK, Australia etc. Folks are free to call out those wrongs whenever they occur. If your sense of justice, empathy and compassion is dependent on zero sum games and conditionality and no nuance, then you're not practising justice, empathy or compassion, but total arrogance and regressiveness. There is no argument to be had here.

[signanothername]

As someone with little to no empathy because of autism, I can vouch that it does it hurt when you upset someone you love because of the lack of empathy.

The thing about a lack of empathy is that you cannot relate to or understand or connect to *other* people's emotions but you do have your own emotions to go off of. It's like a bubble where nothing can go in or out emotion wise and you are stuck with your own tilted view that you distinctly know doesn't encompass everything but it's the best you have.

The closest you can get is an approximation of someone's pain when you hold it up to your own, comparing the physical reactions and trying to think of when you did those things and the feelings attached to them.

It doesn't always work because you don't know when you are *missing* an emotion, something that wasn't present in you to start with or it's an atypical expression of an emotion that the general populace doesn't experience. So with no internal knowledge and faulty data you turn to research about it so maybe you can at least know what not to do to hurt someone even if you don't know why.

You do all of this because you love this person and care about them enough to try and parse through an emotional language you don't even know the alphabet for.

So it hurts and it's frustrating when you mess up and upset them anyway even when you are trying desperately not too. Sometimes you don't even know what happened immediately and that's the worst part.

You don't know how to fix it and comforting doesn't come naturally because you can't connect emotionally like that. So you do your best, you do things that help you and you do the things that you read about that helps while doubting it's effectiveness without the correct emotional display behind it.

But you try and that's the important part.

I know how it feels to watch your loved one go to others for comfort, not out of malice for you, but simply because you can't give them what they need at that moment. No matter how much you want too. (It seemed like killer tried to maybe fix his mistake but it wasn't helping color calm down so he had to let the others take over)

With an added layer of turbo dissociation and not in tune with his own emotional displays or behaviors. I'm sure killer has to get really analytical about it and given his penchant for research and high intelligence, I'm sure it's even more frustrating for him to hurt color when he has gone through all of the things not to do and he should have been watching colors body language and all that but he slipped up because he got too comfortable around color and wasn't paying attention (a product of being around someone you love) mistakes happen and situations pop up that you weren't even beginning to prepare for yet (you can't prepare for everything).

But yeah sorry for the ramble and these are my own personal experiences and I wanted to say something because I have been in killers exact situation and he has become even more baby to me.

(I like to think that when color isn't as upset anymore killer wanders in and puts a cat in his lap without saying anything and curls up next to his feet on the ground and does his weird purr equivalent bone rattle thing because he knows cats help him and he knows purrs help calm down skeletons so he does his best)

Fun fact about me: I have little to no empathy as well

I simply don't mention it

The problem with the stigma around empathy is the false view that you have to have empathy to be even remotely capable of doing good things, which is absolute bullshit, empathy is morally neutral, someone who has empathy can be an absolute asshole and someone with zero empathy can be kind

It's actions that matter not thoughts or what you feel or lack thereof

Killer lacks the understanding of what Color truly needs emotionally, but it doesn't mean that Killer enjoys hurting Color, it just means that he ends up lost on what to do to make it better, and when he tries to do what he knows best (acting on what his mind says than heart) it doesn't work at times cause it's not what Color is in need of at that critical moment

That's where love comes in

Color fully understands this, but he has some social needs that Killer can't provide at the moment, he needs to be held close and to have someone reassure him, and Killer simply can't provide that, and Color does not hold it against Killer in any way, and that's how deep their love for each other is

Killer of course, does try to fix it the best he can, the only way he knows how is by what he observes of Color, what Color likes and what might put a smile on his face

And most of the time it works, others it doesn't, but Color still sees and appreciates Killer's efforts when he knows full well that being connected doesn't come naturally to Killer at all

(Also that image is honestly so adorable gbsdcbsud)

[crepes-suzette-373]

Not having "Emotions" 感情 or "Emotions" 情: Germa 66/Vinsmokes

[part 2][part 3]

Analysing the 3 Vinsmoke boys, because Oda-sensei should know that things like disgust or anger are also "emotions", and Ichiji/Niji/Yonji all have displayed "emotions". Negative ones, but emotions all the same. So there might be something else going on.

In the raw, there is actually a difference in the exact words that they say the boys don't/shouldn't have. I feel that this is might be important, because that's the way kanji is. The nuance of the word usage can be different depending on the context.

When the Germa scientists say that Sanji should not have "emotions", the word they use is「感情」, which does mean all emotions for the most part (including things like anger, joy, etc).

However, Sora says don't take their "heart" 心 away. When you say someone is heartless, it doesn't mean that they have no "emotions", but they have no "pity" or "compassion".

Reiju also says that what is removed from them is just「情」, not 「感情」. 情 is emotion, but also specifically have the connotation of empathy, sympathy and compassion.

The same word when she says she "still has it" in contrast to the boys:

And lastly, from Sanji himself, calling his brothers "monsters with no blood or tears" 血も涙もない. This idiom means the same as "heartless" or "cold-blooded", meaning no mercy, no sympathy, no pity, no compassion. It does not mean "absolutely zero emotions", unless additional context specifies so.

My conclusion is that either Oda-sensei has been playing word games, or there's a slip-up in translation. The boys seems to actually do have emotions. What they don't have are empathy, sympathy, conscience, and fear. Just look at them casually throwing themselves off the roof, and laughing off their potential deaths.

The reason why they act so cruel might be because they have no innate conscience, so they just parrot and follow whatever Judge told them.

And, since Reiju said she was reprogrammed to always obey, I suspect there's a little bit of that in the other boys too. See Niji, freeze-stopping his kick mid-air because Judge says no:

(the force of it was so strong that Cossette, behind Sanji, was blown away)

What they do to Sanji is really horrible, but little kids brawl and beat up each other all the time. It's the adults who have to teach them "don't do that". Without anyone telling them no, and Judge even permitting it, of course Ichiji and the others act the way that they do.

I think there is the possibility that the boys might still have the ability to feel genuine affection inside them (since, you know, having affection for someone is honestly nothing to do with compassion or mercy). They just might not know what that feeling is, because they've never been taught to understand that.

There's Niji and Yonji being worried when Reiju and Judge were hit:

And the whole "Emotionless Excursion" cover story sideplot.

This is why I say Ichiji and Niji are acting like particularly evil tsundere dumbasses. For all their horrible comments, they're clearly capable of feeling concern. Ichiji less obviously so than Niji, but same difference.

We'll wait and see, I guess, what exactly is the extent of the 情 that is missing from those three.

[miss-skinnybones]

These Melanie Martinez fans are genuinely getting on my fucking nerves. Respectfully SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU INSENSITIVE PIECES OF SHIT. "Oh she should have taken it to court" "Her story has holes in it!" "Personally I wouldn't do that if I was r@ped"

You are a sick and vile human being if you think your entitled enough to pick part someone's SA story in order to defend a woman that gives zero fucks about you. It's fucking sad and annoying

You've doxxed Timothy, leaked her only fans. Accused her of some things she's never even done. Timothy Heller isn't a good person because she's said racist shit in the past yes but that doesn't mean she cannot get r@ped. That doesn't mean her story isn't valid. THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MEAN YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO MAKE HER LIFE HELL.

The Crybaby fandom is all about empathy and shit. Bitch where's your empathy when it comes to Timothy? Where's your empathy when crybabies were being rude to Jazmine bean? So take that fake ass empathy and shove it up your hairy asses.

Your hurting other SA victims with your words. Think about that. Think about that well.

Remember. None was proven innocent or guilty.

★ But I'm on Timothy Heller's side. Cause as I always say I'd rather believe a liar than an alleged rapist.

[redditreceipts]

https://www.reddit.com/r/MtF/s/4O6r1DAeAq

"what about me? 🥺" i'm crying, TIMs sound so much like MRAs.

how does he somehow spin himself as the grand victim of society, and not the girls and women who suffer at the hand of his sex?

Okay so no offense, but is this guy like... intellectually disabled? I mean, it's really hard for me to comprehend that as a thirteen year-old, you don't know that as a boy, you don't go into the women's restroom. I imagine that the mom told him to go to the women's restroom when he was like six or something, and assumed that he'd stop doing that when he was older. Idk, this doesn't really sound like something that a child with a typical intellectual development would do.

Also, this story is so weird. First of all, how did he know that he should leave because he is a boy? And secondly, how do you know that your "friend" didn't tell her father to send you away because she thought that you were being weird? I remember that when I was younger and didn't have the guts to tell a friend that I was uncomfortable with them, I would tell my parents to invent some kind of excuse to get me out of that situation. If your friend was really comfortable with you, she would have sought your company by herself afterwards, right? Also, maybe the dad just sent you away because dinner was ready or the girl was grounded or something lmao

okay, this is the worst part. This is what I really hate about men complaining that the world is so "cruel" to them and that women are so cold. They keep on whining and moaning and complaining, but not ONCE do they ask why women behave this way. Do you fucking know the experience a twelve-year old girl has to make to behave in this way towards men? Do you know WHY women do that? BECAUSE IF WE DON'T, WE GET FUCKING KILLED. But instead of fucking talking to other men to change their creepy ass rapey behaviour, you'd rather complain about women being so mean.

I'd rather let a thousand men get depressed because I'm hostile towards them than give one man access to me and get raped or killed as a consequence. You want empathy? How about you afford it to the women who are afraid of you?

Oh man, and now he tries to pass it off as this super deep philosophical insight. I don't even think that he has 0 friends because he's a man, I just think that he's a self-centered crybaby. How can you be so selfish, honestly.

this is the reason why I have zero empathy for whiny men. And by that, I don't mean depressed men or anything, I just mean this self-centered, self-victimising whiny behaviour. It's so disgusting to me, and I've gotten to know so many men like that. get a grip

[sobblesources]

FROM NOW ON , I DON'T NEED YA .

a collection of sentence starters from linkin park's newest album , ' from zero ' . edited to fit rp needs , adjust pronouns as necessary .

❛ i let you cut me open just to watch me bleed . ❜

❛ i gave up who i am for who you wanted me to be , ❜

❛ i don't know why i'm hoping for what i won't receive . ❜

❛ it's been decided how we lose . ❜

❛ i only wanted to be part of something . ❜

❛ i can't look you in the eye . ❜

❛ i can't even tell if you've been telling me a lie . ❜

❛ i grew up thinking trying meant you never really lose . ❜

❛ you're acting like the truth & your opinion are identical . ❜

❛ something in my head feels broken . ❜

❛ you will always choose just to watch it burn . ❜

❛ we both know how the story ends . ❜

❛ you can't win if your white flag is out when the war begins . ❜

❛ today's gonna be the day you notice . ❜

❛ this is what you asked for . ❜

❛ you should've bit your tongue . ❜

❛ i try to hold it in , but it keeps bleeding out . ❜

❛ i'm looking for color in the black & white . ❜

❛ all we are is talking over each other . ❜

❛ are we over each other ? ❜

❛ i can't go to sleep . ❜

❛ say what's underneath , i want to see your side . ❜

❛ set me free , ❜

❛ i know all the secrets you keep , ❜

❛ i won't be your casualty , ❜

❛ you drew the first blood . ❜

❛ you closed the doors while i'm fed to the dogs , ❜

❛ stop telling me you're something that you're not . ❜

❛ i can see the greed right in your eyes . ❜

❛ it's all the same to me , ❜

❛ we're all dressed up for a riot , ❜

❛ i know i can't make it stop , ❜

❛ last time i was hanging by a thread , ❜

❛ you put me over the edge , ❜

❛ you should have recognized it's too late for choosing sides . ❜

❛ stop yelling at me ! ❜

❛ i'm trying so hard to be sympathetic , ❜

❛ you have a closed - lipped smile cause there's blood on your teeth . ❜

❛ you lied like i was nothing , ❜

❛ your alibi started slipping . ❜

❛ we both know forgotten doesn't mean forgiven , ❜

❛ you don't get to make amends like your hands are clean , ❜

❛ i gave you everything i have ! ❜

❛ all you give me is your ugliness, ❜

❛ ( i'm / you're ) just a devil with a god complex . ❜

❛ i say i hate you when i don't . ❜

❛ it's hard to laugh when i'm the joke . ❜

❛ i've asked for forgiveness a hundred times . ❜

❛ maybe the problem is mine . ❜

❛ fuck all your empathy . ❜

❛ don't get too intimate . ❜

[ciera-richez]

So I talk about Rob and whorehouse to my coworkers all the time. They’re all so tolerant (although one is an idiot that claims she’s amazing but he’s Gen Z so kinda stupid lol) and when I suggest/HOPE TO EVER LOVING GOD that the kid somehow isn’t his they always say either 2 things. 1) that he would probably be really hurt by that and 2) he’d probably want to stay in the kids life either way. cause he sounds like a “good guy”. That’s not being a good guy. Or that’s being a good guy without considering the message they’re sending.

If it turns out not to be his I hope to God he just gets up and leaves. Yeah the kid is innocent but that doesn’t mean Rob should have to stick around. what kind of message would that send flat backers like whorehouse? Use a guy and he’ll stick around anyway cause of a kid? No offense to those with children but no child should have that much power over anyone

Okay, I'm going to start this off just by saying...IMO there is no baby, so him being her baby daddy is moot.

If there were a baby, IMO I don't believe it's his. No way would he act the way he has with fauxmance if she had been pregnant with his child. He wasn't there for the alleged pregnancy. There was no announcement together. He was completely disconnected and stayed away from her every chance he got. He was angry whenever she was around. No announcement of the birth, or a cute parents hands, child's feet photo like a lot of new parents tend to do these days.

On his end, there was just nothing.

Those of us who have followed Rob for a long time and have a good idea of who he is and how he thinks know that he'd never treat the mother of his child negatively. He loves kids and talked about wanting to be a young dad, so you'd think he would have been an excited father-to-be. But we saw ZERO of that from him.

And if he wanted to stay in a child's life, even after finding out it's not his, has nothing to do with the child having power over an adult. It's about having empathy, being a stand-up person and knowing that disappearing after bonding with a child can be hurtful for them, and could make them wonder what they did to chase that person away, when they did nothing at all. Not to mention that bond - if it were to exist - would still be there. It doesn't just go away, and you can't flip it on and off like a light switch.

[terra-feminarum]

I have complex feelings about the US. On November 5th it was night here and I saw nightmares, and woke up several times to check how the election is going.

I live on the other side of the Atlantic, in a completely different culture, different climate. Your language is completely unlike my native tongue, yet I write it and I think in it, even though I can hardly pronounce the words right.

When I was a little girl, I knew what US American fire hydrants and mailboxes looked like, and I tried to write songs in English. For my generation, our native tongue was embarrassing, and not many dared to admit they listened to music with Finnish lyrics, rather than English.

More and more of my words have been replaced by English, and the youth of today have replaced so much of our original vocabulary it seems like they can't really express themselves fully in Finnish anymore. We are ashamed of who we are, and we'd love to be American, or rather, we'd love to be the kind of Americans we see in the media. Obviously Americans didn't instill this shame in us, our sense of self was crushed before you came along. But there was this cultural void and the America flowed in to fill the emptiness.

In my young adulthood, I adopted the US American way of thinking about politics and social justice, and so did many others. I can't still put it into words well, but it has become clear we just took ideas straight from another context and forgot where we are and what happens here. My friends claim to be afraid of the police which is absurd, and they tell not to call the police to avoid violence, which just doesn't happen. We talk about whether having dreadlocks is ok while Finnish Roma have been ostracized for 500 years and it's considered more or less normal. We took the idea that white people are an oppressive monolith and forgot we ourselves had been under the rule of foreign people for so long we forgot our own culture and became severely alcoholic, we forgot we have been on this land for aeons and adopted the idea we're the invaders (we are, when it comes to Sápmi - but otherwise we know this land). Of course we adopted your ideas of sex and gender, too, while our language doesn't even have separate words for these concepts. We put English pronouns in our social media bios even though the idea of gendered pronouns doesn't make any sense.

We took your polarized politics and now some find their ideas from your right, and some from your left, considering it normal to not being able to have a conversation with a person you disagree with. We don't have a two-party system but now young people almost act like we do.

Most of my life, I've been watching American movies and series, while having only seen a couple of Swedish films, and zero to none Russian or Estonian movies. I can't speak the languages of my neighbors, and I don't have nuanced understanding of our complex shared histories.

A while back I met a person from the United States, and it was uncanny. She really spoke in the soft buzzing sounds I've heard on podcasts, and which to me, is the language of politics and the language of entertainment. And of course, she expected us to speak to her in her language. In a way, US is an abstract concept to me, a world laid on top of my real world. Things happen in relation to the US.

Yesterday I pondered what it would be like to stop following anything that happens in the US, and focus on what happens locally. I have empathy for you there, but why are you on a such a pedestal when there are Russians living under Putin right next to me? I don't mean you don't matter, but I wonder why do you matter so much more than every other nation? When I wondered should I quit following US Americans on social media, a friend laughed at me like I was an idiot and asked me why I'm not following the squirrels in the forest next to us.

[kamiko1234]

*SWEARING & YAPPING AHEAD. EVERYTHING STATED HERE IS MY SUBJECTIVE OPINION AND IN NO WAY MEANT TO REFLECT THE OBJECTIVE TRUTH*

Hi yeah I just started chapter 14 and- am I the only one who sort of HATES how Thalia's being handled? And also Percy to some degree? Like- Thalia and Percy had just had this a conversation about Luke and ngl? Thalia sounded like such a selfish and entitled BITCH like!? The way she talked about "Luke's bad decisions" and that "they all have tough things to deal with" !? JUST NO! YK WHAT THALIA!? FUCK YOU! Like is she for real here? Really!? REALLY!? Like I get that Thalia is angry at Luke, and that the guy did some stupid and bad stuff but- TO ACT SO APATHETIC TO IT ALL!? LIKE HE'S ACTING UNREASONABLE OR SOMETHING!?

This isn't solely "Luke's just being a brat about something we all had to deal with". Luke's mother went INSANE. He was stuck with a mom having MENTAL FITS TO THE POINT OF HIM HAVING TO HIDE IN CLOSETS. The boy had to run away and live on the streets ALONE.

He had ZERO SUPPORT SYSTEMS IN PLACE.

For the love of GOD Thalia! Way to show you have the empathy of a STONE. And that guy was supposed to be your friend!? Not going to lie Thalia doesn't feel like someone who knows Luke in this book, even if she way mad at him. AND THEN THE COMMENT ABOUT HIM SUPPOSEDLY BEING AT FAULT FOR THEM NOT GETTING TO CAMP IN TIME 'CAUSE OF "PICKING FIGHTS WITH MONSTERS" LIKE??????? Like is the author for real right now? THAT'S what the consense is????? Last time I checked monsters were a bunch of blood thirsty LITTERAL GOD DAMN MONSTERS whose number 1 hobby is hunting and killing demigods. EVERYONE ELSE litteraly fights them ALL THE TIME.

BUT WHEN LUKE DOES IT IT'S SUDDENLY BAD!? THE FUCK???

And then the way she PHRASED it!? "Picking fights" implies that LUKE was the one who started the confrontation when i know DAMN WELL he didn't. Those were MONSTERS, they are KNOWN FOR ATTACKING DEMIGODS. BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LUKE IS AT FAULT FOR THE FIGHT FOR SOME REASON! NOT THE BLOODTHIRSTY CREATUREAKNOWN FOR ATTACKING DEMIGODS!?

AND THEN THALIA ALSO SEEMS TO FORGET THE WONDERFUL FACT THAT LUKE WAS LIKE- UNDER 14 STILL WHEN ALL THAT WENT DOWN! That boy was a CHILD.

But I guess defending yourself is bad now! Sorry dude you heared Thalia, you should have just laid belly up and let yourself get killed^ Ands then that stupid ass line about Hermes loving Luke as if somehow made up for something????? LIKE BE SO FOR REAL THALIA WE BOTH FUCKING KNOW THAT HERMES "LOVING LUKE" DOESN'T MEAN JACK SHIT. I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH HE LOVED HIM HE STILL WAS A SHITTY ASS FATHER WHO DID FUCK ALL FOR HIS KID.

And now before anyone comes at me about this. I do not give a CRAP about that rule Hermes mentioned of gods not being allowed to meddle with mortal affairs because A) YOU GUYS ALREADY FUCK MORTALS TO PRODUCE CHILDREN WITH THEM!? THE FUCK YOU MEAN YOU "AREN'T ALLOWED TO MEDDLE WITH MORTALS" AND

B) LUKE WASN'T EVEN A FUCKING MORTAL YOU DIPSHIT!? HE WAS A DEMIGOD! A CHILD DEMIGOD AT THAT!? UR A MOTHERFUCKING GOD WE BOTH FUCKING KNOW YOU COULD HAVE DONE ATLEAST SOMETHING. DON'T HIDE BEHIND SOME STUPID ALL RULES THAT ALREADY SOUND LIKE EXCUSES WHEN THEY DON'T EVEN FUCKING APPLY IN THAT SITUATION

I swear to the heavens above the way people act like it was SUCH a surprise that Luke went bad are a bunch of fucking clowns, No wonder did the guy start a war WHEN THAT WAS HIS MOTHERFUCKING SITUATION. And then GOOD GOD THE COMMENT PERCY MADE WHEN HE MET ETHAN UNDER THAT TRUCE!? WHERE HE MENTALLY CALLED KIDS OF MINOR GODS UNIMPORTANT!?

WHAT A FUCKING DICK!?

Say what you want but it takes BALLS to first be mad at them for switching sides and then pull a line like THAT.💀 Percy needs to be HUMBELED real fucking quick omfg, and Thalia too. "Luke's old friend" my ass, I'm just gonna assume she was used as the authors mouth piece here since she was handeled MUCH better in TTC. God that just made me furious, especially Percy's hypocrecy concerning minor gods. (Hopefully I understood or misheared something at that part, otherwise Percy would just be a straight up biggot.) Way to get too deep into something, please don't spoil me. Thanks.

[eterosis]

Hello! I’ve been making a game and wanted to make a character with npd to mix up the character dynamics. The thing is, as you probably know, npd is so stigmatized, which means it’s literally impossible for me to research. So, if possible, I would like to hear some of your experiences with npd (how it makes you think and behave, that type of thing). If you don’t want to answer, feel free to ignore this.

This ask made me so happy, of course I'll help you, but keep in mind that I'm not an expert on npd and it's possible for me to accidentally talk bs, so please try to do your own research !!

I don't really know where to start since your request on 'hearing some of my experiences with npd' is a bit vague. As you probably know, narcissistic personality disorder is a personality disorder (duh) characterized by reduced empathy (not all narcissists have zero empathy, I, for example, have empathy, but it's very low and usually I feel empathy only towards those who are dear to me), need for admiration/attention and an exaggerated sense of self-importance. You can't be diagnosed with it if you are a teenager (unless the symptoms are very visible and extreme, I know a person that was diagnosed with a pd as a teen but the psychiatrist didn't specify which disorder she had because of her age) 'cause you can't be diagnosed with a personality disorder if your personality isn't fully developed. From what I know, npd is caused by trauma.

Yeah, so those were things that I learnt about npd from the internet before I discovered that I possibly have npd. Now onto my experiences, I guess.

One of things I struggle with the most as a narcissist is jealousy. I hate seeing other people succeed. I rarely follow big accounts or artists because I think that they don't deserve it and I should be in their place. I'm a unique individual that deserves to be known and admired, unlike them. I sometimes insult them in my head to make myself feel better. Or even write the insults down on a paper. It doesn't really make me feel relieved or anything. My jealousy issues are so bad I want to throw up when I see people have more followers or views on their posts than me. Jealousy is eating me alive.

I also very, very, VERY often fantasize about being famous and looked up to. I think about making a cool thing and the next second I think about how known it'll make me. But then I get frustrated that I'm not already famous.

I need constant attention and compliments. I can get really sad when if my post doesn't get likes and reblogs immediately after posting, or if my friends don't talk me for an hour or more. I tried to find a definition of 'narcissistic supply' so you could understand me more (I know what narc supply is but I can't explain it well) but of course that when I searched it up all I got was articles on how to defeat a narcissist. Sigh

There are two versions that I have of myself. The first one is my true self which is um. I don't want to look at that thing. The second one is something that needs praise to keep itself alive. A fake self that I see as perfect and flawless. But if I mess something up or get insulted it all just crumbles apart and I feel pathetic and worthless and sigh😔

Yeah so those are some of my experiences as a narcissistic person. I apologize that it's so short, I am just too exhausted to put in effort. Again, keep in mind that I'm not an expert and it's possible for me to accidentally spread misinformation. Also, I AM NOT A MODEL NARCISSIST !! People experience NPD differently. I'd recommend asking other narcissists to share their experience with you. And, if possible, talk with professionalists or people who have a lot of knowledge on npd. + Try to choose people who can actually write things down neatly. It's hard for me to express things through words and I suck at explaining. English is not my first language so it makes everything even harder. I hope you'll understand.

I hope my yap session was helpful. I'd love to see your game when you finish it !!

[1yyyyyy1]

it hurts so much being told by women that I'm not a victim after I express what this world does to women since the beginning even what other women do to individual women... These women were rf aligned... So they think that women are always the victims until its... Me? Because I'm "blackpilled" how can someone be this vile. Women were enslaved since the beginning of times and all other women co create our enslavement. I've been abused taunted gaslighted punished bullied ridiculed terrorised yet im not a victim? But other women always are?

How can women be this cruel while pretending to have virtue? All their tone policing must be secretly sadistic because its literally oppressive. They are like a curse to me at this point. How can creatures this filthy exist. Women are even naturally misogynistic in a way that they hold women to a higher standards and have more empathy for men. Like? Female socialization is aggressive. Scum behavior. Performative virtue

You are showing signs of genuine trauma to me because nobody who is not severely affected by a problem would react this harshly to it. I interact with the same type of women you are describing daily and I guarantee you that I do not react to their words the way you do, you are experiencing some kind of trauma response. You need to understand that your body is not these women's bodies and vice versa no matter how much they try to tell you otherwise, and that the acts they are engaging in are not being done to you. What they are essentially doing in trying to convince you that their problems are your problems is blackmailing you out of prioritizing yourself with things like "all of us have the potential to go through X or Y at the hands of men" (nevermind the fact that not all of us will go through the adverse effects of voluntary involvement with men, like infidelity, disappointment with your health and body after a successful pregnancy or violation of boundaries during consensual sex) and "if we all opted out, men would take it by force" — there will be no "opting out" for every woman on Earth and I have literal proof of them wanting to risk sex or pregnancy voluntarily on my blog. Opting out is for the select few who want to do nothing with heterosexual nonsense even if the price of doing so is death because partaking in their drivel is death, physical and spiritual, and if they really did care about distancing themselves from it all that much they would know that death is the least you will be willing to put up with. The behavior they engage in is perfectly avoidable. Is it hard? It is, but "hard" is very different from the "impossible" they are trying to paint it as.

"So they think that women are always the victims until its... Me?" — exactly. It is very easy to see that they lack integrity with how much they pick and choose who's a victim a who isn't in their eyes. It takes zero braincells to say "every woman is a victim" and actually approach women with that mindset, and when someone fails to do that despite preaching it over and over again, it means that there is some kind of internal agenda that they themselves may not be aware of.

I don't think they are aware of what they are doing per se, intent requires introspection and people like that are usually too caught up in their heads to do any sort of internal work to understand why they behave the way they do. At the end of the day, what matters is that their actions towards you are harmful and their lack of self-awareness doesn't signify that their behavior should be excused. Both you and me have been at it for years with trying to make these women see reason to only end up being abused and hit on the head in return, so my question is — why force yourself to put up with this? Because of the possibility of them coming to their senses and us banding together in our quest to eradicate male violence? You and these women have a different understanding of what constitutes it; you hate PIV and pregnancy and consider them violating while they don't, which is something they readily admit to, but what is even more grating is that they are not allowing you to express your disgust and exert your boundaries because they are fragile enough to think that another person's preferences reflect something about them as a person.

You don't need women to stop doing anything to get better and I am saying that from experience. What is more is that, in trying to "help" these women or by simply being around them, you are hurting a woman (yourself) which nullifies all of your feminist effort. If you want to take care of an abused woman, you need to start taking care of yourself. I can tell you with certainty that these women are well-off psychologically, at the very least compared to you, because no one with severe trauma is out there complaining about doing 50/50 with their man on an internet forum, they are terrified of men to the point where they can't stand the thought of being near one or are left in a catatonic state and I have seen that happen first-hand. I always say the following to anyone who's ever dealt with a serial abuser or put up with chronic abuse — you have years of experience with trying to get that person or lifestyle work for you, and you don't need me to tell you that the connection you are in is a certain death because it is likely reflected in your lack of productivity, overall misery or even the desire to "cross the rainbow bridge". You know what it is like to be hitting rock bottom and you might as well take a leap of faith to try and distance yourself from it. It is you or them and at some point you will have to choose.

[ohnoitstbskyen]

Hello, I've been watching your content for a while. While I quit League a long time ago I still hold partial interest to Runeterra's lore, (such as it is) . In particular I really enjoy Bilgewater in general as well as Illaoi and Ezreal as individual characters and I've enjoyed your takes on said things. (Also fuck Demacia) And I wanted to ask you, after so much dissillussionment from Riot's content, in particular from the latest "cinematic" , how they have always prioritized e-sports and skins over actually giving the lore a proper direction and conclusion or how Legends of Runeterra is getting downsized and unlikely to last much longer, why do you still do League content? You are clearly very critical of a lot of the decisions the higher ups do that affect the output of artists and writers in charge of Runeterra's universe and character designs. And there has not been much sign of improvement since a lot of your points. It's like screaming into a brick wall at this point, so why not move on?

Why not spend your time on something that doesn't lead its fans along with empty promises, breaking them, promising to do better next time and then repeating the cycle all over again for years like an abusive relationship. Beyond doing it because it's what you're most well known for, why stick with content that you know will keep disappointing you?

I'm glad you are diversifying your content but I personally feel your passion for art, animation and writing analysis would be better spent away from League and into more games beyond that (in particularly really liked your take on "Despite everything, it's still you" from Undertale). The indie scene in particular is chock full of incredible and unique takes in terms of character design and narratives I'm sure you will enjoy. League is clearly not worth the time for people who are into the lore, art and setting of videogames anymore. I hope I wasn't too personal or intrusive with my question. Cheers.

So that's a very long question. I'll start with the short and cynical answer:

I am doing League of Legends content because that is what my audience wants, and that is what makes me most of my money.

My channel is a League of Legends channel primarily, the algorithm likes it and pushes it that way, and League of Legends is an absolutely enormous intellectual property with an absolutely enormous player base, which means there's a big audience for my content about the game. A large audience means more engagement, means more ad revenue, more sponsorship opportunities, more subscribers, and so on and so on.

That's the cynical part of the answer. I don't want to sidestep it with some guff about "being passionate about the subject," because the truth of my job is that it is a job. I'm not sailing freely on the oceans of creative impulse pursuing my bliss, I'm trying to pay my rent and my pets veterinarian bills and pay down loans and have enough left over to help my friends when they need it.

I approach this job much the same way I approached being a freelance illustrator - having passion for the subject is a nice bonus, but you don't always need it to do good and valuable work.

And with the cynicism out of the way... I also just genuinely love the fucking League of Legends universe. With all its many, many stupid flaws and its garbage corpo owner and its years of systematic neglect and the constant disappointment, god help me, I still love this stupid shit. And when management gets out of the way and lets the good writers at Riot be good at their goddamn jobs, amazing things can happen.

The Ashe: Warmother comic is still such a beautiful short narrative work, with such visual verve and empathy for the characters it's depicting.

It zeroes in so acutely on the idea that Ashe and Sejuani are shaped by their difficult relationships with their mothers, and that THAT is ultimately the difference that drives them apart when they should by rights have had the chance to be sisters. When they become warmothers of their own tribes, it is the memory of their mothers that drive them, and just as the Freljord is divided by generations of strife engineered by Lissandra, the matriarch of the whole region, that generational trauma resonates into Ashe and Sejuani and sets them against each other.

Or Ekko's short story, where he has been accepted to the fancy Piltover academy that's supposed to be his golden ticket out of poverty, his chance to escape Zaun, everything his parents have worked their whole lives to give him, and...

Like, FUCK, you can't just invent these silly cartoon muppets to throw at each each other in your dumb MOBA beat 'em up and then give them INTERIORITY like this??? Apply their silly cartoon powers in way that explores their emotional difficulties and works thematically with their internal philosophies?

god dammit I love this stupid game's universe, I cannot be saved, leave me and go before it infects you too!

[daddyelliott1979]

Littles with Disabilities in kink Spaces

Another post inspired by my boy @squirtdaboi.

So today he did an amazingly brave thing and went to London, by himself for the first time, to a puppy event to meet up with friends.

Something to know about this amazing boy is he's partially sighted and has sensory issues, so this was a huge thing for him. So freaking proud of him!

We worked through lots of anxiety, and his so called friends kept changing plans which really doesn't work well for him- I have to reassure him when he comes to visit exactly what's going to happen - and I have zero issue doing as many times as he needs.

My boy went through a lot during the day, most disappointing was that friends abandoned him, luckily some really decent pups looked after him towards the end. Even making sure he got to his train. So thank you to our little heroes today!

Now here's the thing that angers me the most, as a Daddy who has 2 kiddos with Special needs, how the community treats those with different needs often leaves me utterly livid!

Worse is that most events are catered to the able bodied, often being in places where the disabled facilities are in the lady's toilets? If there is even that! In this day how is that even considered acceptable!?

Yes he's little, but he has some continence issues, so should he or others be discriminated against? Or find themselves in spaces that are really non inclusive?

Now I have to add that I spent 20 years working in adult and children support and enabling services, I'm a qualified Therapist, and have spent over 2 decades as an activist for the human rights and inclusion of those with different needs.

So I fully understand that most people aren't going to have the level of understanding and competency in these matters; but compassion doesn't require training, it requires genuine empathy!

As a community we have to start doing better at inclusion and creating safe spaces for those with disabilities, especially at events! A little bit of awareness goes along way!

No one is expecting you to be a carer, but if you are going to invite those with additional needs to events or play dates, have a basic understanding of their needs, ask what you can do to help and is there anything you need to be aware of!

And when playing with others this should just be basic etiquette and Safe play behaviour!

To event organisers, find out how you can make your event's inclusive and accessible for all! And yes that means you may have to ensure that there are facilities that are accessible should people need it!

We can do so much to make our kink Spaces more inclusive; see that shy person looking awkward? Maybe try to include them, ask them if they are ok?

As a person who is hard of hearing I can tell you how often people communicate with me in ways that make it impossible to hear- I often just give up reminding people and ignore them.

So imagine if you have more complex communication issues?

Again we can do so much to be inclusive, face people (don't always stare in people's eyes as it's anxiety inducing for some), use clear language, don't cover your mouth. Ask people what you do to support better communication; honestly you will find people will feel so enriched if you take little time to understand!

Conclusion

People with disabilities are at an increased risk of social exclusion, it can be a trial just getting to places (that's if someone lets them go!), so we can all do much to welcome people with open arms!

But remember not everyone likes being touched, so take "opens arms" as a metaphor, and at the very least ask before touching/hugging!

[wirewitchviolet]

People really need to shout "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT!?" at bigots more often.

So I just kinda absently clicked a link to a super post of those comics with the stick figure and the "pills that make you turn green," which was neat since I only knew about the original. And I'm scrolling down through them all while also doing something else on my second monitor, sort of on autopilot, and ending up not only down in the comments but deep enough into them where the weird bigots start showing up and I see this quote from a weird bigot (skip the bold quotey bits if you don't want this garbage in your life):

BIGOT: "I feel like this is a major over simplification of what it's supposed to be an analog to. By all means, if you're happy transitioning, i won't stop you. But it's a procedure that is irreversable, and i believe it should only be taught to kids at the same age that they're being taught about the birds and the bees at the parents' disgression Any earlier and its edging on, if not, is teaching the birds and the bees to Minors"

RANDOM NORMAL PERSON: "teaching children about trans people isn't enforcing anything on them except hopefully empathy and knowledge, and acceptance if they are indeed trans"

BIGOT AGAIN: "while you're not wrong, you shouldn't teach them about it till they start experiencing puberty. Which is around middle school, which happens to be when they teach sex ed at the Parents Discression

My qualms come with teaching it to kids younger than that. If you want to teach your kids about it from a younger age, do it at home. But you shouldn't do it for the parents before then and even after you do it at the parents' discretion."

Another person whose brain works comes along and is baffled at this person talking about having sex when the subject is... children being aware that trans people exist. But you know, passively.

BIGOT REALLY GOING MASK OFF NOW: "it is a sex thing. You are going through the act of irreversably changing things about your body that are inherently sex related. Therefore, they should be taught alongside other sex related topics in the appropriate manner and time"

Now, the real thing to do here is as soon as this person starts foaming at the mouth and screaming gibberish, you ideally have them removed from the conversation/venue for being a weird violent hatemonger shouting nonsense, but since you can't do that in every possibly context, sometimes you have to engage the person. Here's how that should look if someone pops off like this face to face:

BIGOT: "I feel like this is a major over simplification of what it's supposed to be an analog to. By all means, if you're happy transitioning, i won't stop you. But it's a procedure that is irreversable-"

YOU: "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

Because see here we have the first instance of this weird bigot shouting baffling nonsense scare words that make no damn sense. What "procedure" is this crackpot here even talking about? You stop them dead, and refuse to let them move on until they explain what they mean. Having seen enough of these in the wild, I will tell you right now that this is almost certainly operating on the deranged bigot logic of "if someone says they are trans they are a crazy man pretending to be a woman and if they say they are transitioning that means they convinced a doctor to cut their genitalia off with a giant pair of scissors and there's no way to ever sew that back on!"

This of course has absolutely no basis in reality whatsoever. This is like... "if you listen to rock and roll music you'll be possessed by the devil and do drugs and get pregnant!" levels of crazy nonsense you can't just say out loud in public without revealing you're some kind of crackpot who doesn't live in reality. You just hold them to this and get them to admit that they are spewing absolute nonsense that makes zero sense in context and hey, nobody else in earshot is going to take this creep seriously and they might even be cowed out of moving on to their next propaganda point.

In this particular case you can also point out that in this specific context (and most other times this comes up, honestly) people are quite specifically talking about a comic metaphorically talking about how silly it is that when people start HRT we have to sign a big huge scary looking consent form that goes "hey, you do realize that if you take this combination of medications that makes your body produce less of these chemicals and more of these other chemicals your body is going to gradually change to be like everyone else's with that ratio right?" And that uh... totally is reversible. If you don't have enough estrogens and have too many androgens, you take one of these things to block production of the latter and these other things to supplement the former. Other way around? Just supplement the androgens, they conveniently suppress estrogen production at the right dosage. If for some reason you decide you don't like that new ratio (or you're freaking out over how people react), just... stop doing that. If it turns out your body fell out of the habit of producing the right ratio somehow, supplement accordingly. It's not really a big deal?

OUR BIGOT IN A HYPOTHETICAL WORLD WHERE BEING SHOUTED DOWN DIDN'T MAKE THEM STOP: "i believe it should only be taught to kids at the same age that they're being taught about the birds and the bees-"

YOU: "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

Again, just cut this weirdo off. Don't let them keep rushing feverishly through the propaganda bullet points. Demand to know what, exactly, they're worried about being "taught to kids." Like... are we in fact just talking about the concept that trans people exist out there in the world? Because that's a completely absurd and indefensible position to hold. You don't even need to argue back against that one. Being trans is roughly as common as people having red hair. Fairly rare sure, but common enough that if you want to treat that as some sort of forbidden knowledge you're gonna have to keep that kid on like some sort of cult compound with no media access and like... why would you even want to do this?

Maybe they're willing to play the cards on the table that what they really have a problem with is letting trans kids know that being trans is a thing, and that they have options on the table that will allow them to actually lead a good happy life. Again, a pretty damn weird thing to object to, that kind of outs someone as a crank. You could maybe drill deeper on that. Does this person have a kid they suspect is trans? Are they in denial about that and abusing their child to try and "fix them?"

For taht matter, are we still in a world where this person is really conspicuously emphasizing this weird desire to live in a world where sex education isn't taught to children until after they hit puberty? And then only at their parents' discretion, like they kept repeated over and over when given free reign? Because that is a whole other can of worms that someone should really be opening up and interrogating the hell out of.

Like hey... the whole point of sex education is to make sure kids have some basic idea of what sex is prior to any situation where they might be taken advantage of sexually, contract an STI, and/or have some sort of pregnancy scare. You kinda want to get on that as early as you can reasonably expect the kid in question to comprehend what you're even warning them about, and it's kind of a huge red flag when you see people going "only if their parents are OK with it though!" Because like... why the hell wouldn't you be OK with it? The only reasons I can think of are A- you are sexually abusing your child and don't want someone to explain how these things you are doing to them are Bad Actually and they should tell someone, or B- you are confident enough that you have such complete control over where your child is and what your child is doing at every moment of every day that there is no way in hell said child will ever be involved in anything sexual without your direct approval. That one is also abusive, to be clear, and also stupid because we've already established your child is in public school, so, NOT, in fact, under your watchful eye at all times.

And of course, there is again no reason to let a bigot ramble unchecked long enough to get to this point, beyond this being tumblr and moderation being hard to come by of course, but it should go without saying there is absolutely no connection at all between being trans and having sex. It's just a weird association bigots have because A- they are constantly trying to paint trans people as sexual deviants, and B- there is a... really alarming overlap between people who hate trans people and... people who I... don't want to discuss when I'm trying to keep this fairly light... but uh... see option A in the previous paragraph.

Anyway this is all getting way off topic but hey, I'm all for small children being aware that trans people exist and people making it known to young children that being trans is a thing they maybe are, in the interest of... you know, NOT forcing little girls whose parents really badly want them to be little boys to fake it, fail, and get beaten to a pulp by their peers for being weird, and vice versa, and little enbies from also dealing with some variation of this, etc. Let'em all be themselves, and let their weird parents get over it.

But yeah, bigots. Cut them off when they start talking. Interrogate every point as they bring them up. Don't let anything fly. Force them to either admit the horrible agenda they're trying to push today, or the fact that their beliefs are too awful to state in polite society and flee. And be rude and angry about it.

[our-queer-experience]

I may have picked the wrong place for queer support i guess. 😭

You missed where I wanted to talk (they asked me how i identify) and was shut down by their trauma before I could share ANY OF MY REASONING. The 'queer is a slur' folks think they're feelings matter more than queer as an identity. My friend feels their discomfort matters more than any identity, and showed that by cutting me off and chilling the conversation...

I never got to share more than the word. They shut down the conversation and had zero issue continuing like I hadn't shared anything, as long as I don't talk about being queer or use the word around them. Does this work if you're gay or lesbian? Would you tell me to have a heart to heart? "Oh just change your term, you identify as l-slur but just use sappho, the l-slur I only saw used to hurt people growing up."

Realistically, a person you can talk to isn't going to monopolize a situation when they asked you about yourself if they care about your answer. We're all 21+ so them having their trauma under control is really their choice and lord knows "get therapy" doesn't work in my area right now, there just arent any.

I guess I expected some understanding to the fact that I was asked about my identity, i was shut down in the conversation because the 'word was bad', and the friend is fine with the friendship as long as I keep my identity away. 😔

I know trauma. I have worked on mine. As I said, I have it with gay and lesbian specifically. And I wouldn't cut into someone's explanation about their identity i asked about with my own trauma,

and it only seems ok to do with the queer identity.

Have you seen an 'l-slur' added to a lesbian support post on the regular? A 'g-slur' to gay posts? Do they get filtered and marked on tags? Do they get "friendly reminder, not everyone identifies as l-slur, so don't use it for the community"?

Do you regularly hear stories about "hey how do you identify" "oh as gay, I-" "People used that word harshly it's such a slur I don't know why anyone would use it it's only been used to hurt whenever I've seen it..." In the same volume by the lgbt/queer community? 🤔

all i said was that it’s complicated and you should try communicating with your friend… i’m on your side. i dont think you should censor yourself and i dont think queer is a slur. but you should have some basic empathy for someone with a trauma that they haven’t gotten over yet

what is and isnt a slur is subjective. me and most people i know are fine calling each other fags, one friend of ours isnt so we’re careful around him. he still understands that its ok for us to use it for ourselves and has gotten to a place where he can hear it in certain contexts. you can say it’s not a slur and you shouldn’t have to not use your identity label while understanding your friend’s position and work together. if they won’t talk to you then fine, but all i said was to communicate. they dont understand you and you dont seem to understand them. there’s where the dysfunction starts

also: traumatized people arent always functional and nice and easy to work with. that doesn’t mean they’re trying to hurt you. if there’s one thing i learned from having friends with trauma, it takes patience and open dialogue even when they don’t want that. thats my advice, which is what you asked for. idk what else to say